Have you ever noticed how some people are terrified to get on a dance floor? They will argue that they can’t dance or don’t want to. Basically they are worried that they will make a fool of themselves and be embarrassed.
For that to be true it means that others need to actually look at them in action and then form an opinion about their dancing ability. However, is that really what happens? When people look at a dance floor, they generally look at those who can dance and just ignore those who can’t.
Isn’t this true of life in general? So many people hold back from trying something new or enjoying themselves out of fear of being a failure. Only to find that there was no need, nobody really looks at you until you are worth looking at. We all admire achievers and leaders or competent people in the game.
If you are just a beginner, and not good at an activity yet, others will admire you for trying. At least you are out there on the dance floor giving it a go. Not like the rest of them shrinking back in their seats, too afraid to take the first step.
What is holding you back from living a full life and trying anything and everything that life offers you? Are you afraid that you will embarrass yourself? Don’t be, don’t hold back. Laugh at your failures and people will laugh with you and help you to be successful.
Failure and success are all part of the game of life. If people want to watch you, let them. This is YOUR life you are living, not theirs.
Find Out More at www.fetchmyfuture.com
Monday, May 25, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Chronic 'What If' Syndrome
Chronic ‘What If’ Syndrome.
The human mind is like a guard dog and protects you from anything and everything it perceives as a threat. It creates warnings, doubts, alarm bells etc. This is why we are inclined to be more negative than positive.
What if something goes wrong?
What if I lose my money?
What if this idea is no good?
What if I don’t buy the right thing?
What if I use the wrong strategy?
What if they don’t like me?
What if I make a fool of myself?
and on and on it goes!
These are all common healthy questions. However, you do need to deal with them if you want to get ahead in life. If you do suffer from chronic “What If” Syndrome than you may need to deal with the root of that issue first.
A common cause is an over protective parent. Maybe your mother was always saying things like, look out, that won’t work, that person looks dodgy, be careful etc.
Or maybe your parents were divorced and you have somehow transferred the trauma of that experience into your own life.
A lady we know had transferred the fear she had for business failure from her father who had committed suicide when she was 11 because he had failed in his business. Once she could see the direct affect of his behaviour on her present life she began to see that it need not be this way for her and her business ventures have since grown very quickly.
Maybe your re-action was not from your past, but from a recent bad experience where you did lose money. So now you are over cautious and use lots of “What If” questions to keep you from doing another bad deal.
Of course the good news is that for a mind to come up with lots of “What If” ideas to keep you from doing well, your mind has to be creative. This means that a creative mind when used in a more positive way can also come up with ‘what if’ ideas that allow you to do well.
If you already know where your predominant “What If” behaviour comes from but you don’t know what to do about it. Here are two ideas.
1 - Every time you know you have just come up with a ‘What If’, that is negative and likely to hold you back from business, immediately replace that thought with a positive “What If” for the very same situation that would make it a good business decision.
What if it goes really well?
What if I make a lot of money?
What if this thing is fantastic and just what I needed right now?
What if I bought the perfect item?
What if I used the right strategy?
What if they do like me, where could that lead?
What if I make an excellent?
Changing your “what if” questions around will take a while but if you constantly work at it your mind will learn to relax and allow you more freedom.
The good news is the sub-conscience mind is a very powerful control device. No matter how deep your embedded thoughts from your past are controlling your present behaviours, you can change them! You will then do very well not only in work but also in other areas of your life.
Find out more at www.fetchmyfuture.com
The human mind is like a guard dog and protects you from anything and everything it perceives as a threat. It creates warnings, doubts, alarm bells etc. This is why we are inclined to be more negative than positive.
What if something goes wrong?
What if I lose my money?
What if this idea is no good?
What if I don’t buy the right thing?
What if I use the wrong strategy?
What if they don’t like me?
What if I make a fool of myself?
and on and on it goes!
These are all common healthy questions. However, you do need to deal with them if you want to get ahead in life. If you do suffer from chronic “What If” Syndrome than you may need to deal with the root of that issue first.
A common cause is an over protective parent. Maybe your mother was always saying things like, look out, that won’t work, that person looks dodgy, be careful etc.
Or maybe your parents were divorced and you have somehow transferred the trauma of that experience into your own life.
A lady we know had transferred the fear she had for business failure from her father who had committed suicide when she was 11 because he had failed in his business. Once she could see the direct affect of his behaviour on her present life she began to see that it need not be this way for her and her business ventures have since grown very quickly.
Maybe your re-action was not from your past, but from a recent bad experience where you did lose money. So now you are over cautious and use lots of “What If” questions to keep you from doing another bad deal.
Of course the good news is that for a mind to come up with lots of “What If” ideas to keep you from doing well, your mind has to be creative. This means that a creative mind when used in a more positive way can also come up with ‘what if’ ideas that allow you to do well.
If you already know where your predominant “What If” behaviour comes from but you don’t know what to do about it. Here are two ideas.
1 - Every time you know you have just come up with a ‘What If’, that is negative and likely to hold you back from business, immediately replace that thought with a positive “What If” for the very same situation that would make it a good business decision.
What if it goes really well?
What if I make a lot of money?
What if this thing is fantastic and just what I needed right now?
What if I bought the perfect item?
What if I used the right strategy?
What if they do like me, where could that lead?
What if I make an excellent?
Changing your “what if” questions around will take a while but if you constantly work at it your mind will learn to relax and allow you more freedom.
The good news is the sub-conscience mind is a very powerful control device. No matter how deep your embedded thoughts from your past are controlling your present behaviours, you can change them! You will then do very well not only in work but also in other areas of your life.
Find out more at www.fetchmyfuture.com
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Regrets
Regrets are emotions that are more difficult to handle, because they can last a long time. Often impulsive decisions have led us to do something we will later regret.
- We said something hurtful out of anger.
- We lashed out from frustration.
- We took an opportunity we shouldn’t have out of desperation.
- We bought something we couldn’t afford to feed our ego.
Regret is harmful as it can stay around for years and can in itself become a thought pattern that will cause us to spiral down when times are tough.
However, usually during the decision making process of regrettable behaviour the mind gives many warning thoughts.
- Be careful.
- What will others say?
- Can you really afford this?
- Are you sure about this?
- Keep control of your temper.
- Don’t you need to sleep on it a bit?
- This may not be a smart thing to do.
- This may feed your addiction, don’t take it.
- Haven’t you have made this mistake before.
- How would this look on the front page of the newspaper?
and on it goes.
The mind is doing its job of protecting us from regretting our actions later.
So if up till now you have led a life full of regrets than perhaps you can improve the quality of your life by becoming more responsive to those intuitive warning messages. You know the ones I mean.
Your intuition is your best friend to lead a fulfilled life. It is your best focus – fetch – fact mechanism, and will guide your thoughts in the direction you want to go.
But you must learn to listen to it and not ignore it when it is giving you the warning thoughts you need just before you lose control and choose to do something you may regret for the rest of your life.
Most impulsive people already know the very point of their decision making process at which they need to stop and listen to their intuition. It is a matter of practice makes perfect. Don’t give up and don’t be too hard on yourself; there are many more years to enjoy.
Find out more at www.fetchmyfuture.com
- We said something hurtful out of anger.
- We lashed out from frustration.
- We took an opportunity we shouldn’t have out of desperation.
- We bought something we couldn’t afford to feed our ego.
Regret is harmful as it can stay around for years and can in itself become a thought pattern that will cause us to spiral down when times are tough.
However, usually during the decision making process of regrettable behaviour the mind gives many warning thoughts.
- Be careful.
- What will others say?
- Can you really afford this?
- Are you sure about this?
- Keep control of your temper.
- Don’t you need to sleep on it a bit?
- This may not be a smart thing to do.
- This may feed your addiction, don’t take it.
- Haven’t you have made this mistake before.
- How would this look on the front page of the newspaper?
and on it goes.
The mind is doing its job of protecting us from regretting our actions later.
So if up till now you have led a life full of regrets than perhaps you can improve the quality of your life by becoming more responsive to those intuitive warning messages. You know the ones I mean.
Your intuition is your best friend to lead a fulfilled life. It is your best focus – fetch – fact mechanism, and will guide your thoughts in the direction you want to go.
But you must learn to listen to it and not ignore it when it is giving you the warning thoughts you need just before you lose control and choose to do something you may regret for the rest of your life.
Most impulsive people already know the very point of their decision making process at which they need to stop and listen to their intuition. It is a matter of practice makes perfect. Don’t give up and don’t be too hard on yourself; there are many more years to enjoy.
Find out more at www.fetchmyfuture.com
Monday, March 23, 2009
Influence
There is a common misconception that in order to teach others you need to spend time with them or prepare learning materials. But have you ever given any thought as to how much you can teach others around you just by doing what YOU love and being the best that YOU can be?
Influence is a very powerful force. People love to follow somebody who is doing something they love or is an inspiration in someway. Do not underestimate what you can do to help others by just living your OWN life to full capacity and being happy in yourself.
Influence can also be a great teacher if people have overcome some sort of personal problem. The most common of those of course involve addictions such as smoking, drinking, overeating, drugs, gambling, overspending etc. The movie industry knows this only too well and has capitalised on these success stories for years.
The “If they can do it, so can I” attitude has helped so many people. If you want to be a hero, pick your worst problem and learn to overcome it. You will not only help yourself but you will be amazed as to how your success can help others you love to achieve similar goals in their life.
Of course influence is automatic for any parent. If you are around children you will be influencing them everyday in someway. They will be watching what you do, how you do it and when you do it. Unfortunately influence can be for good or bad behaviour. Children will either copy their parent’s or rebel against the behaviour and do the opposite. Either way the parent will have a direct influence on the child. What are you teaching your children?
Some of the issues may just be small. Maybe your problems involve subtle things like procrastination, self doubt, anger management, poor reading skills, laziness, hygiene, poor fitness, lack of confidence, fear of public speaking etc
The beauty about influence is that if you do have something in your life you are battling with and you decide to finally take control and follow steps to overcome this “thing”, you will be influencing many more people around you with similar issues.
You may not even know the affect your success or failure has on other people, but believe me whatever you do or don’t do in this world, it is having a powerful influence on somebody around you.
If you do try to overcome a personal issue and you fail the first time, don’t let that stop you trying again. Struggling with failure is all part of the process and also part of the learning curve of influence. Those who fail and try again will ultimately enjoy success and influence others to greatness.
Find out more at www.fetchmyfuture.com
Influence is a very powerful force. People love to follow somebody who is doing something they love or is an inspiration in someway. Do not underestimate what you can do to help others by just living your OWN life to full capacity and being happy in yourself.
Influence can also be a great teacher if people have overcome some sort of personal problem. The most common of those of course involve addictions such as smoking, drinking, overeating, drugs, gambling, overspending etc. The movie industry knows this only too well and has capitalised on these success stories for years.
The “If they can do it, so can I” attitude has helped so many people. If you want to be a hero, pick your worst problem and learn to overcome it. You will not only help yourself but you will be amazed as to how your success can help others you love to achieve similar goals in their life.
Of course influence is automatic for any parent. If you are around children you will be influencing them everyday in someway. They will be watching what you do, how you do it and when you do it. Unfortunately influence can be for good or bad behaviour. Children will either copy their parent’s or rebel against the behaviour and do the opposite. Either way the parent will have a direct influence on the child. What are you teaching your children?
Some of the issues may just be small. Maybe your problems involve subtle things like procrastination, self doubt, anger management, poor reading skills, laziness, hygiene, poor fitness, lack of confidence, fear of public speaking etc
The beauty about influence is that if you do have something in your life you are battling with and you decide to finally take control and follow steps to overcome this “thing”, you will be influencing many more people around you with similar issues.
You may not even know the affect your success or failure has on other people, but believe me whatever you do or don’t do in this world, it is having a powerful influence on somebody around you.
If you do try to overcome a personal issue and you fail the first time, don’t let that stop you trying again. Struggling with failure is all part of the process and also part of the learning curve of influence. Those who fail and try again will ultimately enjoy success and influence others to greatness.
Find out more at www.fetchmyfuture.com
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Assumptions
Assumptions are very powerful thoughts and can have a big influence on your life.
The movie industry knows this very well and uses assumptions frequently to spice up stories. In juicy love stories they will often introduce a gorgeous woman into the plot which threatens the main character’s relationship with his current partner. They will let the audience assume that the hero is having an affair or being disloyal in some way. Then at the last minute it is revealed that the ‘new’ woman is the hero’s sister. In the meantime the chaos the assumptions have created makes good money at the box office.
A while ago we met a man who was convinced that his mother didn’t love him. He had spent most of his life with this assumption, and now had a difficult relationship with her. When we probed into his past he said these thoughts has started after he fell off his bike aged nine.
He had some serious injuries from his fall and was hospitalised. The school rang his mother who had to leave her work to come to see him. Then she left him there and with his child’s mind he had taken on the assumption that she left because she was cross about having to leave work and she didn’t love him anymore.
For years he had harboured these emotions. So we encouraged him to ask his mother what her version of the incident was.
When he asked her ‘Why did you leave me in the hospital all alone when I was nine?”
She said “The visiting hours, were over.”
What assumptions are ruining your life? What assumptions are affecting your relationships with loved ones?
Do you have things going through your head that are running your patterns of behaviour?
Are you really sure that others share the same thoughts that are holding you back from leading a full life?
I know it is hard to face some situations, but believe me it is worth it. Ask the person you have issues with what their version is and you may find out that your assumptions may have another side to them. Once you have discussed them with others and have a better understanding of their version, the assumptions soon disappear.
Most people strive for peace and happiness and will be glad that you “cleaned up” the mess your assumptions have created.
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.-G.K. Chesterton
Most people are trying to find their own way in this world. Things don’t always go smoothly and they can get a little lost in what they are doing. Be patient with others and just love them for what they are. They are really doing their best with what they have.
Find out more at www.fetchmyfuture.com
The movie industry knows this very well and uses assumptions frequently to spice up stories. In juicy love stories they will often introduce a gorgeous woman into the plot which threatens the main character’s relationship with his current partner. They will let the audience assume that the hero is having an affair or being disloyal in some way. Then at the last minute it is revealed that the ‘new’ woman is the hero’s sister. In the meantime the chaos the assumptions have created makes good money at the box office.
A while ago we met a man who was convinced that his mother didn’t love him. He had spent most of his life with this assumption, and now had a difficult relationship with her. When we probed into his past he said these thoughts has started after he fell off his bike aged nine.
He had some serious injuries from his fall and was hospitalised. The school rang his mother who had to leave her work to come to see him. Then she left him there and with his child’s mind he had taken on the assumption that she left because she was cross about having to leave work and she didn’t love him anymore.
For years he had harboured these emotions. So we encouraged him to ask his mother what her version of the incident was.
When he asked her ‘Why did you leave me in the hospital all alone when I was nine?”
She said “The visiting hours, were over.”
What assumptions are ruining your life? What assumptions are affecting your relationships with loved ones?
Do you have things going through your head that are running your patterns of behaviour?
Are you really sure that others share the same thoughts that are holding you back from leading a full life?
I know it is hard to face some situations, but believe me it is worth it. Ask the person you have issues with what their version is and you may find out that your assumptions may have another side to them. Once you have discussed them with others and have a better understanding of their version, the assumptions soon disappear.
Most people strive for peace and happiness and will be glad that you “cleaned up” the mess your assumptions have created.
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.-G.K. Chesterton
Most people are trying to find their own way in this world. Things don’t always go smoothly and they can get a little lost in what they are doing. Be patient with others and just love them for what they are. They are really doing their best with what they have.
Find out more at www.fetchmyfuture.com
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Carrots
Your mind needs carrots. Have you ever had the experience of looking forward to going on a long planned holiday. In the week before you depart, no matter how things go wrong ( the boss can yell at you, the kids can smash windows, your wallet may be stolen etc.) but you cope with it all beautifully because somehow the carrot of that holiday next week keeps you calm and in good spirits.
Then at the end of the holiday, even if you are on a gorgeous hot white sandy beach sipping margueritas, the idea that you have to go home soon can really get you down.
This is all quite normal, the mind will react according to your thoughts, not the environment you are actually in. So use this to your advantage and make sure that in tough times you give your mind daily carrots. Even if they are just simple little things, try to have a personal carrot for each day of the week.
Monday – eat out for lunch.
Tuesday – phone call with an old friend.
Wednesday – nice long hot bath with candles.
Thursday – buy a little something for YOURSELF while out grocery shopping
Friday – a night on the couch with take-aways.
Saturday – outing with friends.
Sunday – sleep in.
Make sure that you actually DO these things so that your mind trusts you and will keep you in good spirits. Don’t feel that you are being selfish or greedy or extravagant. This is a useful and powerful system. If you learn to pamper yourself a little, you will be far more calm and productive. Your family and colleagues will thank you.
Of course, as well as the little carrots you must have some really big ones all the time, (overseas holiday, new car) but that will take a little more planning and maybe more funds too. When you understand the power of carrots and allow them to be a constant part of your life (without guilt), you will find that they are very effective for fetching your great future.
Find out more at www.fetchmyfuture.com
Then at the end of the holiday, even if you are on a gorgeous hot white sandy beach sipping margueritas, the idea that you have to go home soon can really get you down.
This is all quite normal, the mind will react according to your thoughts, not the environment you are actually in. So use this to your advantage and make sure that in tough times you give your mind daily carrots. Even if they are just simple little things, try to have a personal carrot for each day of the week.
Monday – eat out for lunch.
Tuesday – phone call with an old friend.
Wednesday – nice long hot bath with candles.
Thursday – buy a little something for YOURSELF while out grocery shopping
Friday – a night on the couch with take-aways.
Saturday – outing with friends.
Sunday – sleep in.
Make sure that you actually DO these things so that your mind trusts you and will keep you in good spirits. Don’t feel that you are being selfish or greedy or extravagant. This is a useful and powerful system. If you learn to pamper yourself a little, you will be far more calm and productive. Your family and colleagues will thank you.
Of course, as well as the little carrots you must have some really big ones all the time, (overseas holiday, new car) but that will take a little more planning and maybe more funds too. When you understand the power of carrots and allow them to be a constant part of your life (without guilt), you will find that they are very effective for fetching your great future.
Find out more at www.fetchmyfuture.com
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